It’s Book Review Friday again, and today I’m pleased to share Chuck Sambuchino’s humorous book, How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack (Ten Speed Press / Crown, Sept. 2010).
I have never owned a garden gnome, and reading this book made me count myself lucky. Who knew the danger behind those rosy cheeks and Santa Claus beards? Sambuchino’s premise is that these gnomes are fiendish little statues who actually live and breathe and are out to get you once you’ve let them into your garden.
But, if you are one of the luckless who trusted the cuteness of these statues, don’t despair. Sambuchino’s thorough survival guide is divided into four sections and covers every aspect of handling the threat: risk assessment; gnome-proofing your home and garden; defense tips for actual confrontation; advice for dispensing with dead gnomes....
Sambuchino’s sly humor had me laughing out loud a few times; more often, I was quietly snickering. His weird solutions are worthy of movie scenes: Picture a desperate homeowner digging his own moat or mixing his own quicksand or planting underground sensors to spot gnomes’ tunneling activity. Picture this same homeowner practicing the art of rising from bed in attack mode, or putting kitchen utensils in padlocked drawers, or going to Antarctica to dispose of a gnome who may or may not be dead.
Included in the book are testimonials of those who have survived an attack, as well as quotes and advice from gnome defense experts. The “gnomenclature” insets tracing an ominous history behind various expressions (such as “a baker’s dozen”, “Murphy’s Law”, etc.), are almost believable. Andrew Parson’s photographs somehow capture expressions of inherent gnomish evilness, adding an air of gravity and plausibility to the wildness of Sambuchino’s premise.
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is a “one of a kind”, good summer read -- one you might consider giving to a friend; especially if they have made the mistake of populating their yard with these dangerous figures.
Chuck Sambuchino is an editor for Writer’s Digest Books. He is the editor of Guide to Literary Agents as well as Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market. You can visit his website to learn more: http://www.chucksambuchino.com/?page_id=2 . His book can be purchased at Amazon.